Mood Swings

You wouldn't believe how moody I was today! Say isn't that another pregnancy symptom? I know it is! Then again, my mind continually plays trick. Sure enough, it's wishful thinking. Ever little thing sort of bothered me today. I thought I was behaving just fine only to find out that I was tired from staying up until 1am. I had Starbucks coffee last night, I think that is why. You know, I was expecting to noticed some kind of news last month, I found out nothing happened. I can sense the sadness after being so hopeful. I did some pregnancy research and then my mind just drifted away thinking about about all those ladies who can't conceived. I thought about it all. I'm usually like that. It's only been a month and it felt like years! I'm numb. I don't know what to say. Although, it's comforting when Matt said to let it happen as it should. Regardless, I keep doing research? I want to find out any information! What is wrong with me?? Why am I thinking like this? Well, I should just let it happen. The first time didn't work, here's to the second time around. There is a possibility but perhaps not. I should find out soon, next week. I did a little prayer and don't want to sound selfish about anything. God always has the perfect plan! I kind of want to say... at least, I am still in good shape. I don't have to work out or anything... I can still fit in all my clothes. I can sleep in and do whatever I want during my spare time. Maybe that's what I should do. Okay, that's it. I am interested in taking up oil painting. I need to make a phone call and see when I can start oil painting. (couple of minutes has past) Ouch, now I feel my stomach is starting to cramp a little. *sighs*