Wishful Thinking: April 2011

A few days ago, I woke up around 11pm and screamed "Where is she?!" I was looking for Joanna who was sleeping next to me. My heart was racing because I couldn't find her. I patted down the mattress a few times where she should have been. Then I figured she'd fell off the bed again. Oh no, not again!! Please God, not again!! I then hurried to look over my side of the bed but I couldn't find her. She wasn't there. All of a sudden, I got yanked backward and held onto. It was Matt trying to calm me down. I didn't know this but he later told me and said, "Sandra! Stop it!!" but while he was squeezing me it shook me up and made me aware of what's going on. I looked over at the baby monitor next to my bedside and saw that the lights were moving which indicates that Joanna was either crying or so. After I saw that, I was too sleepy to talk or say anything to Matt and went back to sleep all because I'd finally remember that we put her in her crib earlier. What a dream!!!

As for reality, she did fell off our bed a few weeks ago. Joanna was sick with fever at that time and I decided to keep her near me to keep a close eye on her fever. God has been so good to me even in the bad times! He sure did watches over my baby! Here's why, I found Joanna on the side of my bed hanging on to a board that holds our mattress (she wasn't on the floor but hanging on a little board.) I found her facing down which scared me because it looked like I'd lost her! Without hesitating, I grabbed her as quickly as I could and made sure she was breathing (I can't hear her cry without my hearing aids.) Once I'd turned her around and saw that she was crying I'd knew she was okay. I'd hugged her closely to my chest as I sat down on my bed to give thanks to my God for His guidance and protection. Oh how my heart was racing like crazy! I was crying and holding her for a long time while kissing her and saying "I'm so sorry baby... mommy is right here..." I was calming her down too. I don't remember what else I was saying but I was too busy thanking my God!

Now the question, why? Well, she wasn't rolling over yet or anything. But still... I know what you're thinking. Here's how it started, I had my back towards her back so it helps to push her over. I know I know. It's not a bright thing to do nor was it a good thing at all! I'm very aware of what I do now. I put pillows around her if she sleeps on my bed. I'm now just starting to have her sleep in her own crib. It's the safest. She's been sleeping with me for almost 6 months. When I left to Kansas, it was too cold to leave her in her own crib. Our room was the warmest and I wanted her to stay warm so I'd kept her with me...every since then I'd got used to her sleeping with us. However, I'd made some changes. She's been sleeping in her crib lately. Occasionally, as crazy as it sounds. I'd keep her with me when there's a bad weather. Anyway, she still wakes up at nights. It is hard and I must break the cycle I started. It's weird, I've noticed that everytime she knows were are laying next to her, she'll fall asleep but I know she'll have to learn to sleep on her own. Hopefully these long nights of her crying in her crib will soon be over. I don't know how long that'll take. It's just hard to leave our baby crying for a long time in her crib but it must be done. Of course another reason, that way I can sleep comfortable without having to worry about squashing her or something.

Rolling over or crawling

Many have asked me if Joanna has been rolling over yet or crawling? The answer is: NO. She hasn't been able to do either yet. I asked the pediatrician and she said that all babies are different. Some babies crawl backwards (really?!), some babies never learned to crawl and just learn to walk instead (something I didn't even know!) All I saw her did was turned over only twice but that was a few months ago.

Sick

She'd finally got sick with a fever but that happened on the beginning of this month. It was really hard the first couple of days to keep her fever down. Matt and I got uncomfortable when her fever shot up to 102. We went to Rapid Medic but they wouldn't see her. It was awful to have everything go wrong that day! We ended up going to the hospital in Flower Mound, where they took her in. Matt and I didn't feel like the doctor showed much compassion. The doctor said it was common and that it was spreading. He saw about 5 other babies before seeing Joanna. But still, show that you care, will you?? Sheesh. Anyway, she was prescribed with antibiotic and tylenol for babies. I was able to get her fever down by constantly monitoring her and keeping her cool with a wet rag around her forehead and body. I'd also made sure that she was getting plenty of fluid (breastmilk.) If she couldn't take in much, I'd get her some of the drinks to help keep her from losing a lot of fluid and to keep her hydrated. Praise God that her fever went down! Throughout our first experience with having a sick baby, Matt and I had only a few hours of sleep! Thanks for those who's been keeping us in prayers!

Does Joanna ever smiles?

We've been asked that many times... well she does smile at home. I have noticed that she hasn't been smiling every time we get ready to go to church. I noticed that she likes to look at different people and studies them or something. She'll just stare and whoever tries to talk with her or make an attempt to have her smile. I think she has Matt's characteristic!! She's so calm and well... let's just say she's similar to her daddy! Her daddy and I are different. I'm told that I always smile... well most of the time. But if you are wondering... yes, Joanna does smile a lot at home. Who knows when she'll smile next?

I did take noticed that Joanna will smile and even laugh at herself whenever I put her close to a mirror! Not only that, she'll do the same when she sees my dog. I don't know why she thinks my dog is a funny thing to look at but it's cute!

Awareness

Joanna is aware of her surroundings. Most of the time whenever I leave the room, she'll cry. She's very attentive and it's crazy! It's like she's eye-balling me wherever I go. She even started to push herself away from others when they wanted to hold her. Wow! Yesterday morning was her first time doing that with Bro. Garza. Ha! I thought it was cute!! Guess who she wanted? And I'm bragging...that's right! She wanted her mama!!! Awww... I love it when she leaned forward and tried to put her arms out toward me! So sweet! Okay, okay... enough of that. I know it won't be long until she'll do that often. It is going to be fun watching who she'll wants to be with... who knows? She'll finally get tired of me and may just want her daddy!

Breastmilk versus baby food

Of course, breastmilk wins! Joanna knows what she wants. She knows the good stuff but she'll occasionally eat baby food. I tried and tried to get her food in her mouth. Boy oh boy! Once she sees that spoon, she'll closed her mouth! What a smarty! Out of applesauce, green bean, squash, carrot, sweet potatoes, and bananas. She likes bananas and sweet potatoes! Sweet stuff. I think she likes carrots too but I'll have to try that again. It is really hard to get her to open her mouth. I'm always trying to find ways to make her open it. And once I do, I'd quick to stick that spoon in her mouth! It happens and work every time she'd smiled big or after she'd laugh and even babble. Yep! Mommy wins every time! Well sort of. It's still a battle somewhat.

Another thing, she doesn't like bottles or pacifiers. My oh my!! I admit it, I do need a break at times!! I'm hoping she'll take a bottle once she'll learn to hold one.

She says "Ma ma ma ma ma"

Whoo hoo!! Yeah!! I think she was trying to say "mama" although it sounded like "ma ma ma ma ma" as in babbling them altogether. But still!! Her first noticeable words! Mama wins! Haha, sorry daddy! To confirm it, I have a lot of witnesses that heard her say that. Even though daddy disagree with her even trying to say "mama" first. Oh and uh she even says "da da da da da" so yeah... daddy came second.

These are the most recent pictures of me and my baby girl. Joanna didn't smile like she normally would because we were in a hurry to get to church. Plus, she just woke up from her nap. Doesn't that explains? I'll definitely take more pictures of us with daddy in it. I like to keep you all updated as much as I could. I have been behind recently but finally found time to update. Joanna wore two different beautiful pastel colors dresses yesterday. Below, is the dress that Grandma Guerra bought her. Doesn't she look pretty in her new dress?

Trying to get her to smile for the camera.

Tickle tickle! Ahh, that didn't work.