Disappointed

I'm very disappointed in myself lately. I've failed my children. Well, I say that now because I saw what looks like a cavity in one of Joanna's teeth (bottom back right tooth). I thought maybe it was from the Tootsie Roll lollipop that I gave her. Nope, because I have been brushing it hard for 2 weeks and the color brown is still there. I'm so mad at myself. I don't give her a lollipop anymore. Instead I give her candies that are soft and chewy. Even though she always asked for a lollipop, I've ignored her and give her something else instead. She isn't even 3 years old yet! You see why I am mad at myself?? Anyway, we have already set an appointment this month to get her tooth taken care of.

And today, Peter had his 18 month check-up and vaccination shots. (although he is now 19 months.) Everything is good except his private part. The thing that bothers me is that he might have to get circumcise again. The doctor said his foreskin is starting to close. Sighs. She did prescribed us with a cream and suggest we try that first. If not then schedule him to get re-circumcise.

I felt like I didn't do much to prevent either one of those things. If only I brushed her teeth very well and if only I'd cleaned him and pulled his skin back correctly... if only, if only... Please, pray for me. I don't feel like I did such a good job and I blamed no one but myself. I admit going through this helps me to take better care of my babies and that's what I want to do. I will try to do my very best. I just love them too much.

Not only that, it doesn't help when they mentioned about my third baby still having a little extra fluid in the brain. I know that God is in control and that He will take care of my precious little one inside of me.

I could use a lot of prayers right now. Thank you.